Altered Perceptions

2003-06-20T18:37:00.000-07:00

If you Miss me...You can find me Here! Here! Here!

2003-06-20T18:14:00.000-07:00
Importing to MT

Shit...I give up. I've spent 3 hours and 7 attempts of following the directions to import my archives. At this rate it would of been simpler to do it a day at a time...sheesh. I could never get it to import more than one post. ARRGGHHHH! I am so stupid at this stuff. Oh well.

2003-06-20T16:02:00.000-07:00
Blogger Changes

Wow...the day I am planning on moving to my new site, Blogger has a whole new look here. Pretty and blue. Wonder if it will work any better on the weekends though.

2003-06-20T03:58:00.000-07:00
DPD Brutality

I have to share some info from two articles that finally made the front page of the Free Press. Check out 17 officers accused of city reign of terror and their shenanigans:

They dangled one man by his legs from a second-story window.

They threatened to kill a woman if she told anyone about the way they were treating her.

They stepped on the face of another woman with such force, they dislodged a tooth.

Prosecutors say these were not the acts of neighborhood gang members, but of 17 rogue Detroit police officers charged in a federal indictment Thursday. The officers allegedly stole drugs, firearms and money from suspected drug dealers during a two-year reign of terror on the city's southwest side.

If they found drugs, guns or other contraband, they would decide which victims to arrest and then falsify reports to justify taking them in, the indictment said. Sometimes they kept the money, drugs, or guns they seized and let the people go, the indictment said.

When they found too little contraband, they planted drugs, guns or money on their victims, the indictment said. Besides falsifying police reports, they also lied in court, the indictment said.

Do you get the feeling these guys could of written the TV show The Sheild? Then this article went and confirmed it Detroit's RoboCop. Hang on to your hat...here is yet another taste of what these guys get away with.

The officers stopped Adkins at 10:20 p.m. that night at Vernor and Lawndale on suspicion of a felony firearm allegation. At the time, police said Adkins scuffled with the officers after the traffic stop and tried to grab one of their guns. Several witnesses said the officers shot Adkins 11 times, while he was down on the ground, unarmed, according to court records.

Eleven times? Adrenaline rush...uh huh. I wish I could tell you this was a unique situation. It's not. It happens too often...but the mentality here is this: This is Detroit and it happens all the time, what's the fuss? No one is shocked or disgusted when they hear this anymore. It's routine. I'm glad the Justice Department is at least starting out with a bang...but it will fizzle out here. They will become immune to all the complaints and investigations. It would take years and years to sort out. In the end nothing will change.

2003-06-19T18:18:00.000-07:00
9 pm

Ever notice how 90 minutes can fly by sitting in front of a computer roaming around the world on the internet? I haven't even had supper...I looked up out the window and it's getting dark. Now why doesn't time fly like that at work? Altered perceptions.

2003-06-19T17:26:00.000-07:00
Earthquakes

Have you ever checked out this site. It always freaks me out. I live in Michigan...now why does it freak me out you ask? How the hell do I know. I'm neurotic I guess.

2003-06-19T17:14:00.000-07:00
First Amendment and "Kops Kourts Krooks"

Ohhh....I love this one.

Now this is pure bullshit:

Dudzinski had not disrupted the courtroom, nor did his conduct affect the impartiality of jurors since none were present, the court said. "There was no serious or imminent threat to the administration of justice and no compelling state interest was served by requiring" Dudzinski to remove his shirt, the court said.

Still, his refusal to obey Torres' order was still adequate grounds for contempt, the court said. Rather than declining to obey the court's order, Dudzinski should have obeyed the order and pursued the First Amendment claim independently.

Yeah right....freedom of speech but not in the courtroom. Pursued the claim independently my ass. So much for the First Amendment. It's contemptible alright.

2003-06-19T17:05:00.000-07:00
Moving to the New Site

Well I plan to move to my new site tomorrow night or Saturday. I've been cruising the web looking for a different look. I found somethings I like, but in all reality I have no clue how to do it. So...I don't think I'd better jack with it. I'm really lucky to just be able to write something here and post it...let alone get a whole new look.

I read alot of the help sites and forums...it's a sad thing to admit but I have no clue what they are talking about. Even with the supposedly simplified explanations for dummies. Now I understand that this will do that if I do this but that doesn't tell me what the original this is. Did you get that? Nah..me either.

2003-06-19T03:54:00.000-07:00
Virgin Mary in Boston

It seems Mary has decided to appear again on a medical building's office window. Of course the hospital is saying it's chemical deposits....if that's the case, why don't they wash the window or change window panes? I always call the Catholic church to help me out when my windows are dirty...don't you?

2003-06-19T03:43:00.000-07:00
Scarey Movie?

I'm always on the hunt for a scarey movie. I definitely was more impressionable years ago then I am now. For me the movie with the biggest impact was The Exorcist. That movie scared the shit out of me and if I think about it, it still does. It wasn't so much anything in the movie but that's when I was introduced to even the concept of "possession".

I watch every scarey movie that I hear about and I'm still waiting - weirdly enough - to find a new thrill.

Maybe Bhoot is the one. I guess I'll have to wait for the Americanized version.

2003-06-19T03:32:00.000-07:00
Jesus' Brother

Well it seem's we can't even decide if he had a brother let alone if it's James burial box. So the latest news - it's a hoax.

2003-06-18T15:55:00.000-07:00
Adultery

I couldn't believe this article about stealing love. I have to wonder if this was a standard law if it wouldn't cut down on a few extra-marital affairs. I would think a nice little $100,000 judgment would definitely take the lust right out of any relationship. Damn expensive fuck. I've never met a married man worth that.

2003-06-18T15:45:00.000-07:00
Benton Harbor Michigan Riots

Well it finally made the news locally about 8am this morning. What 18 hours after it began?

``They are not going to keep killing us, we're going to strike back,'' said Bonita Bulger, 28, a neighborhood resident with four children. ``If this has got to burn down, it's got to burn down.

Oh puhleeeze...get a grip, what ignorant thinking. This 28 year old man who was breaking the law made a conscious decision to run from the police. To compound his ignorance into a deadly mistake he ran into a building. He was an idiot that fucked up and paid the ultimate price. Well burn it down baby....I hope your ass goes to jail.

I could really get on my soap box here...but what's the point. Ignorance can not be changed overnight. I would bet if I could sit down with this woman over a cup of coffee and try to have a halfway intelligent conversation about this....it would last 2 minutes. She and many others will never see it as a crime being committed and the police doing their job and this guy has it right:

``You think something like this would happen in a big city like Detroit, or Chicago or L.A., but this is a small community,'' said King. ``There's nothing for young people to do here. So they do this for attention.''

...that and they have way too much free time. Get a fucking job and get off the streets in the middle of the night. A 10pm curfew is definitely needed...and then some.

2003-06-18T03:34:00.000-07:00
Illegal Downloading

I would think Orrin Hatch obviously has too much free time if he's that worried about this. We still have Americans being killed on foreign soil and he's worried about his damn royalties. Isn't there more important things to worry about like banning smoking, driving with cell phones, screwing the elderly out of health benefits? Come on Hatch...put those creative thinking skills to work.

2003-06-18T03:17:00.000-07:00
Detroit Police Department

Again the shenanigans of the DPD make me laugh...because it's so sad. Make sure you catch this part:

The evidence room on the first floor of Detroit Police Headquarters became the focus of attention last year when nine people -- including a civilian employee -- were indicted on charges of stealing 223 pounds of cocaine from inside. The department had also announced that as much as $5 million in cash was improperly inventoried and could be missing.

Would the 8 other people caught be policemen? Well this newspaper definitely won't say....again. No wonder the dipshits have "cash woes". I think this police department could be HBO's next big comedy hit.

2003-06-18T03:01:00.000-07:00
Racial Profiling - Again

I guess the judge here didn't yet have a chance to read Bush's ban. He's 79 for Christ's sake....his sense of humor made me smile. Well maybe the government can use him to interrogate suspected terrorists.

2003-06-17T16:13:00.000-07:00
Bush Bans Racial Profiling

So Bush ordered a ban on profiling but he definitely left a loophole:

In cases involving national security, however, the policy allows the use of race and ethnicity in "narrow" circumstances in order to help agents "identify terrorist threats and stop potential catastrophic attacks."

Narrow circumstances...would this be the men between 18-39 of Arabic descent? Might as well go with what works.

2003-06-17T13:41:00.000-07:00
Weather

It's 4:38pm...the sky is getting blacker and blacker. Nothing showing on radar. Weird. Even though I live in MI now...when you come from tornado alley you always watch the sky.

2003-06-17T13:38:00.000-07:00
Ranting and Raving

Have you ever just got a really good bitch going...I mean, standing up straight on the soap box, letting it all hang out? To discover you misunderstood something? Read it wrong? Heard it wrong?

Isn't that humiliating when you realize that you can be a first class, grade A, certifiable moron?

I've done this before...that's why I'm so humble now. That and I need a nap.

2003-06-17T12:59:00.000-07:00
I'm Tired But...

I've read this article on crime statistics in Detroit...but am I missing something here:

Murders and rapes in Metro Detroit's four largest cities increased last year, despite the fact that the overall number of major crimes in the communities fell or stayed flat, the FBI reported Monday.

The major crimes fell or stayed flat? What is rape and murder classified as in Detroit...a misdemeanor?

and then:

Leann Rachwal, 35, a substitute teacher from Sterling Heights, said she feels safe despite the uptick in robberies in her city. "I see a lot of police patrol the streets," Rachwal said.

She feels safe? She sees alot of police patrol the streets? Substitute teacher huh? Makes sense...I remember my substitute teachers.

2003-06-17T12:41:00.000-07:00
Nice

There is a half naked man outside my window mowing. Wow...I miss alot during the day when I'm at work.

2003-06-17T12:35:00.000-07:00
I must be more tired than I feel. I just made a ton of spelling mistakes I had to correct in the last post. Rather tired than alzheimers I guess.

2003-06-17T12:34:00.000-07:00
3pm

Well I made it home early for once. Usually when I go in early, I end up working 12 hours. Not today...my boss kicked me out. Works for me. She said I looked tired (I am) and crabby (no shit) and to get the hell out. No argument here. I think I've mentioned before what a great boss she is. We've worked together for 2 years now...and neither of us have had more than a 4 day weekend in almost 3 years. Damn right I'm crabby.

I have 8 days of vacation to take before Aug 1...then there is a ban on vacations for approximately 3 months because our facility is "going online". Oh boy. Well December is survey month...then it's January and February to clear any defiencies. So it will be March before anyone gets a vacation again. Well anyway...come March I'll have 18 days vacation coming. Watch out world.

2003-06-17T02:37:00.000-07:00
Welcome to My World Jennifer

I loved reading this. Especially this part:

Granholm and her family moved to the governor's residence in Lansing on Sunday, but she was scheduled to be back in Southfield at 7 a.m. Monday. Stuck in the eastbound I-96/I-275/I-696 logjam that forms every rush hour, the terminally punctual governor arrived at Inglenook Park at 7:45 a.m., apologizing for her uncharacteristic tardiness.

All I can say Jennifer...if you do decide to change some of this mess, please...please hire someone that knows what they are doing. Umm...also, could you bitch slap whoever is responsible for keeping traffic lights synchronized? The joke isn't funny anymore.

2003-06-17T01:24:00.000-07:00
3am

Well I woke up at this unGodly hour. I'm thinking this is going to be a long long day. So I made a pot of coffee and decided I might as well suck down as much as I can and get to work by 6am. I'll do this kind of crap when things start getting too me.

Despite how I joked about yesterdays phone call from the nurse...those kind of things really bother me. I take the responsibility for my patients very seriously...and when one of the staff, in my department or not, shows signs of being incompetent it weighs heavily until I decide what action to take.

Nurses are hard to come by. Competent nurses even harder. Michigan nursing schools curriculum is lacking...seriously. When working you can spot a nurse who trained outside of Michigan in a matter of minutes. The sense of responsibility, critical thinking skills and general knowledge seems to be what is lacking. More so for the LPN graduates than the RN's. I know this pisses alot of nurses off, when I say this, nurses from Michigan of course...but the majority of nurses here are from MI. They have squat to compare too.

I have fired far too many nurses since I've been in Michigan. I was a director of nursing in Iowa for 12 years before moving here and I fired 2 nurses. One of the major differences between Iowa nurses and Michigan nurses: professionalism. I don't fire nurses on a whim. The nurses I've fired had known my expectations regarding patient care and negligently and carelessly crossed the line without looking back.

Examples:
Failure to give tube feeding or water flushes.
Medication errors - hate to say it folks, we make errors all the time, but there are too many nurses out there who are too lazy to get up and give meds.
Sleeping on duty.
Failure to do treatments or lying about doing treatments.
Instigating work place violence.
Failure to take action for a sick, dying or a patient that was in pain.

Now every nurse I have fired in the past 4 years fell into one of those categories. Scarey shit. I never fire anyone without a full investigation. When I do fire someone...I don't have trouble sleeping at night. I have trouble before I fire them. I've never sought action to remove someones nursing license...that causes me some distress because I've felt I should have. It scares me to know they are out there....when I fire them I give them a speech from hell and let them know that what they've done can lose them their license...and possibly send them to jail. That's the best I can do. I've never had one person argue with me...or fight for their job. Like I said, when I fire them...they know why. It's black and white. I tell them to use it as a learning experience....or get out of nursing.

2003-06-16T17:11:00.000-07:00
Well Dean did it!

Well Dean got me up and running...woohoo! Just in time, this is the first I could post tonight because of whatever technical glitch blogspot has. Now I want to call in sick tomorrow and stay home and play. I wish.

This is the new site. I'm going to go check it out in a minute. Damn I'm excited.

2003-06-16T04:20:00.000-07:00
Mondays and Morons

As I get older and PMS is in full swing today my tolerance for morons and idiots is at zero. Even a couple of years ago I had the patience to try and nurture and educate the nurses and CNA's on my staff. Sometimes that shit gets old. Let me share a phone call I received in the early hours today:

A nurse from the facility I work at called me:

Nurse: Dawn, the patient in Rm ### appears to be dead.

Me: ~~What the fuck you stupid bitch is he dead or not??~~ What do you mean by the word appears? Does he have a pulse or respirations??

Nurse: No..so I put oxygen on him. He's a full code.

Me: ~~You put oxygen on a fucking dead person you shithead??~~ Did you see him code and start CPR?

Nurse: No we found him that way, we don't know how long he's been that way. He was ok an hour ago. So I called 911.

Me: ~~You are a fucking moron!~~ You called 911 and he's been dead...this is what you are telling me?

Nurse: Well yeah, I didn't know what else to do.

Me: ~~Because you are a dumb bitch!~~ Well make sure your documentation is accurate and I'll talk to you later about this.

end of call....phone rings again in 10 minutes.

Nurse: Dawn...ummm 911 is here, they say he's dead. What do I do now?

Me: ~~Fuck get me a gun so I can shoot you then myself ignorant one~~ You need to call the family, the doctor and the funeral home.

Nurse: Right...but ummm.....what am I going to say?

Me: ~~That you are too fucking stupid too live too!~~ That you went in and found him gone, you called 911 and nothing could be done.

Nurse: Right...I got it.

Sweet Jesus...what did I ever do to you to deserve a job like this? Why can't 7-11 pay more? Now I'm off to my lovely job...through the expressways of hell, putting my life into other peoples hands that are too stupid to drive.....to spend the day with morons. God, please help me.

2003-06-15T17:38:00.000-07:00
Men

I have to share this...I received it today in an email from a friend:

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm
a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the
woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips,
cozy
winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me
eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be
at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature
gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy.

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society
about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever.

Men..what can you say.

2003-06-15T16:09:00.000-07:00
What Do You Know About America?

Go on ...take the quiz. I got 7 right. Sad huh?

2003-06-15T13:05:00.000-07:00
Isley Brothers

Well I bought the new CD out from the Isley Brothers Body Kiss. I can't say that I'm real impressed with it. Many of the songs sound the same to me...I hate when that happens.

2003-06-15T13:01:00.000-07:00
Working at Home

Well I'm supposed to be doing some work I brought home, but needless to say I'm screwing around online. In my own self defense I do have about 75% of it done. Well 75% of one of the things I brought home. That's something right? This is my day off....isn't it?

2003-06-15T12:28:00.000-07:00
Dearborn's Arab Festival

Well there might be 200,000 Arabs show up here. I wonder how many employees of the US government will be joining this years activities? I stopped at Best Buy in Dearborn yesterday...the area was a zoo.

2003-06-15T12:18:00.000-07:00
I Didn't find this funny

2003-06-15T12:08:00.000-07:00
Male Attractiveness

A study in Wisconsin showed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where a woman is in her menstrual cycle.

For instance, if she is ovulating, she is likely to be attracted to men with more rugged and masculine features.

If she is menstruating, she is likely to be impressed by a man with a scissors through his temple and a bat shoved up his ass.

I've kind of figured that out in my travels too.

2003-06-15T11:54:00.000-07:00
Disgusting

Now here is a real ass. She should of drowned him.

2003-06-15T08:21:00.000-07:00
Gaining Thirty Pounds

From the Salt Lake Tribune:

Renee Zellweger says she is eating 20 doughnuts a day in a bid to pile on almost 30 pounds for the sequel to "Bridget Jones's Diary," reports Ananova.com. The svelte actress has six weeks to go from a size 6 to a size 14 before playing the neurotic character in "Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason." She also shuns any form of exercise during her 4,700 calorie-a-day diet. Zellweger, who will earn $22.5 million for the film, added: "One doughnut doesn't do a thing -- you've got to eat 20 a day for five weeks to get results." Her diet also includes a Big Mac with large fries, scones with gravy and a high-fat milkshake for breakfast. Lunch is pizza, peanut butter and chips, followed by doughnuts, and dinner is a giant plate of spaghetti and meat sauce with potatoes and butter.

Hey...give me the money! I been there done that I even have the larger size jeans to prove it.

2003-06-15T08:06:00.000-07:00
Dreadlock Discrimination

You have to wonder what this guy was thinking.

2003-06-15T04:14:00.000-07:00
My Grandfather

My Grandfather was the man in my life. He was the most opinionated, dominant, honest, stubborn, gentlest and loving man anyone could ever hope to know. Grandpa was the eldest son of Sicilians immigrating from Sicily...he was born on the boat. His place of birth is listed as St. Louis, MO and a US citizen. Great Grandmother and Grandfather were on their way to Council Bluffs, Iowa. Grandfather was going to work for the Union Pacific Railroad...and he did.

My Grandpa was raised strict Roman Catholic, graduated from Catholic school. He wanted to go to college...but was laughed at. So to the railroad he went. His job was in the shops in Omaha, NE...about 8 miles from their home. Of course they didn't have a car...so he walked. Both ways. Some of the old, old Italians in the neighborhood still remember this and talk about it.

When he was 21 he met my grandmother who was 16. She wasn't Catholic or Italian and great Grandmother had a hissy fit. So they ran away and got married. My Grandmother would talk about the first 7 years of hell living with the Greats until they saved enough to build their own home.

Grandpa raised 3 daughters, bowled three nights a week....loved the horse track (his one and only vice) and retired from the railroad at 65. He's in Iowa's Bowlers Hall of Fame. Five years after retirement Grandpa was diagnosed with a lung disease from asbetos from working in the shops for 47 years. He died two years later as it progressed into lung cancer.

Grandpa was a real man. I loved him with all my heart and I miss him dearly. Happy Father's Day Grandpa.

2003-06-15T03:49:00.000-07:00
Father's Day

My father passed away in 1985 at age 50 from cirrhosis of the liver. His life was a mess, his death even messier. My father was pretty much out of my life by age 6 - the first time he and my mother divorced. When I was 12 he waltzed back into our lives for about a year, then they divorced again.

When I was 19 I happened to stop at a certain bar one night with a friend, and what do ya know, there was dear old Dad. We talked a little...after that I would see him a little more. I would have to stop at the bar of course or see him at the horse track.

About 2 years after that we completely lost touch until I received a phone call from an aunt in Oregon. My father had been there for a couple of years and was very ill. The doctors said he had to quit drinking or die. I called him in the hospital and we stayed in touch for about a year.

The next call I received was in 1985 about 3 years later from an uncle. He said if I wanted to see my father alive to come to the hospital immediately...evidently he was back in Iowa. I went to the hospital and arrived to see him take his last 3 breaths. (This gets gross, feel free to stop reading.) He was covered in blood, the nurses were covered in blood, the walls and ceiling were covered in blood. Apparently he had been in a local bar, collapsed and began vomiting blood...projectile vomiting. One of the long term effects of cirrhosis is esophageal varices (enlarged veins in the esophagus)..and one or several had ruptured. They pumped 14 units of blood in him in 4 hours but he was losing it faster than they could put it back.

He died in the manner of which he lived. Someday I'll write about Dad and his life with his cronies...and the terror they raised on everyone around them. Then again, maybe I won't. Somethings are better left buried with the dead.

2003-06-15T03:33:00.000-07:00
Sunday at Blogspot

The short time I've been blogging Sunday's has not been Blogspots best day. Every Sunday it goes down. Maybe today, being Father's Day it will have less traffic but already at 6:30am it's running mighty slow.

Last Sunday somethings I posted remain lost in the blue nowhere. I guess it would be a hoot if it ended up on someone elses blog.

2003-06-14T20:09:00.000-07:00
And for WAY Too Weird

I don't do bugs! Oh my God. I would move.

2003-06-14T17:04:00.000-07:00
Too Weird

Now I know I put the Amber Alerts thingie on my blog, so it's on my mind I'll agree. Jacob Rose was kidnapped from Taylor, MI, which is basically a suburb of Detroit. Now this afternoon I was in Taylor at at CVS store to buy a graduation card on my way to the reception. (By the way, I only did $25). Anyway...a couple comes up to the cards and I swear it's the couple on the Jacob Rose Amber Alerts.

I about freaked. I ~~stalked~~ followed them to the checkout counter, but the girl checking me out took too long for me to see what vehicle they were in. The guy had less facial hair and was wearing a cap, and the girl had her hair pulled back into a pony tale and was wearing glasses and a baseball cap also.

Now I'm tempted to call the police, then I remember I was in Taylortucki, and practically all the men and women are rotund and look like hillbillies. So I guess I'll just always wonder. Too weird.

2003-06-14T09:31:00.000-07:00
Joe

I was sad to see this article in my hometown newspaper. I didn't visit the music store on my last few visits back to Iowa. I hope he beats this.

2003-06-14T09:19:00.000-07:00
Graduations

Graduations have been in full swing for a few weeks now. I have a reception this afternoon to go to, a son of one of my managers. I was listening to a Detroit talk radio station the other day and they said anything under $50 was being cheap. Ouch. Now I'm only planning on giving $25. I think that is reasonable for someone I've only met once. Isn't it? Damn I hate to feel cheap.

2003-06-14T09:00:00.000-07:00
Dean's BlogSpot Jihad

Well I took Dean up on his offer. He made me an offer I couldn't resist. I can't wait to see if I can pull off this transition even with the help of an expert.

2003-06-13T19:14:00.000-07:00
Amber Alerts

This morning I added a button for Amber Alerts to my blog. Then on my way to work, on the electronic traffic boards on the expressway...I for the first time ever seen it display an Amber Alert. For a 1991 green Ford Explorer with the license plate number....which I retained for about 8 hours. Many people at work commented this was the first time they had ever seen it on the expressways. Great idea except then I was watching 5 lanes of traffic for green Ford Explorers instead of the ratty ass honda in front of me with only one break light. It's not easy to spot kidnappers going 85mph with one of those in front of you.

Anyway...I changed the button to a tickler at the bottom of this page. Tomorrow I'll see if I can't get it in the header.

2003-06-13T16:42:00.000-07:00
The Friday Five

1. What's one thing you've always wanted to do, but never have?

Go to Alaska and it sounds like maybe it's on the agenda for this July. My son and I are taking a vacation, we've decided to fly to some place, rent a car and just explore. One place that's at the top of both our lists is Alaska.

2. When someone asks your opinion about a new haircut/outfit/etc, are you always honest?

Depends who is asking. If it's a close friend, then yes I am. My Mother....never. My daughter...never. I've found that both of them need and want validation that what they have chosen is correct and become crushed if I disagree.

3. Have you ever found out something about a friend and then wished you hadn't? What happened?

Now this is a tough one, strange but true. I found out...I'm not sure how I missed it, that my bestfriend was a crackhead. Her boyfriend called me one Friday night when she was whacked out and he was scared. He asked me to come over. I did...maybe not nice of me, but I told her she was a piece of shit doing that when she had two small kids, that I had lost all respect for her. That I was finished with her....I'd would never go back to her house again. That was the last night she used crack. She straightened up...and works full time with me now, as my assistant and makes $65,000 a year. She's married a wonderful guy....and is flying straight and happy. I never did go back to her house though.

4. If you could live in any fictional world (from a book/movie/game/etc.) which would it be and why?

Walgreen's commercial "A Perfect World".

5. What's one talent/skill you don't have but always wanted?

To be able to write

2003-06-13T04:19:00.000-07:00
Amber Alerts

I've tried to add an icon....I hope it works. Nothing ever ends up being where I think I put things. Sheesh.

2003-06-13T03:08:00.000-07:00
Blogspot Jihad

I see Dean is offering a deal to help me move off of here. How can I resist? I'll write him tonight.

2003-06-13T03:05:00.000-07:00
Friday the 13th

Arrrgghh....I just realized what day it was. I'm glad I'm not superstitious. Shit, yesterday I was worried about making it through a regular old Friday, now this. I'm glad I'm not superstitious.

2003-06-13T02:53:00.000-07:00
On Dawn

Dawn is my real name. Marie is my middle name. I always wanted to be a Stephanie. In fact...she liked the name so much my sister's middle name is Dawn. I think I've already posted about my mothers creative thinking skills. Growing up in an Italian family in an Italian neighborhood, constantly being called Dawna Maria you could see why I would want to be a Stephanie since age 6.

2003-06-13T02:47:00.000-07:00
On Blogging

Have you ever noticed while you are reading blogs that the ones you really really want to leave a comment to...don't have comments? Well Bane I guess didn't call me a hypocrite, he just used my name and link in the same sentence. Any way I want to let him know...he didn't cause me any stress. Being the hypocrite that I am....and I am, I got 30 hits yesterday. Damn, now that's like a traffic jam on this site. Now Bane I do like your writing on your blog...just post some more.

2003-06-12T18:09:00.000-07:00
Thursday Humdrums

It's been a miserable day here. I think it started raining about 4am and it's still coming down. Everyone at work today was crabbier than shit. I think there is about 30 of us at work right now that's heading into the PMS time zone. God help us. Hopefully it will be over by Monday. I guess it won't really matter if I don't end up surviving tomorrow.

It's a perfect night to crawl into bed early and read. Sex would be better.

2003-06-12T17:13:00.000-07:00
This is a Hoot

So I get home from work and notice I actually had 26 (big shit for me) hits today. People actually visited my site. So I check the referrals to see what the hell is going on. I hope you can follow this. Well..apparently on this guys comments another person drug me into God know's what flame war they are having because I like The Acidman and possibly because my name is Dawn but not Dawn Olsen.

Apparently because I like Acidman I am a hypocrite. I have to wonder when and where I put in my blog I do not like opinionated people that have the balls to speak what's on their mind. Please O Wise One can you point this out?

Just for the record this hypocrite checks The Acidman every morning and in the evening when I am able. I find The Acidman's blog very entertaining. He has the ability to piss me off, make me laugh, make me think....and with his sharing of his personal life he has even made me sad at times. D o y o u g e t t h e p i c t u r e ?

So to wrap this up. Shut the fuck up.

2003-06-12T04:52:00.000-07:00
Julie Gerberding

Now this is a woman that has worked hard for where she is. Julie is intelligent, motivated and should be someone discussed with teenage girls for who actually is a role model. I believe this woman has "class". Keeping Hillary in the news is just teaching our daughters to look the other way when your husband is getting a blow job from another woman. Hillary has done nothing of substance but ride on the coat tails of another. I would have much more respect for her if she would of bid Bill a good bye. Shit, she should of kicked his ass out of the White House, thrown his clothes out on the front lawn. Maybe then, and only then would she of made my list of women that inspire.

2003-06-12T04:20:00.000-07:00
Detroit Police Department

I wanted to do a post on the DPD about 2 weeks ago. I contemplated it for a few minutes and thought....nahhh, well the hell would I ever start. The newspapers and local TV news daily are filled with the shenanigans of this police force. When I first moved to Detroit 4 years ago and began at first paying attention to the local news I was literally shocked. The things these guys get away with is unfathomable. It will make the news - far into a news cast..or several pages into the papers. Then it disappears.

If you are one of many unlucky people in this world that have to live in Detroit or actually visit it's city - God help you. I'll share with you some of the things that at first shocked and disgusted me four years ago...to which mostly I've become immune to now. Police openly cavorting on the street with the crackheads. More than likely buying. No one...not even police stop at redlights in certain portions of the city. People half naked, obviously stoned and talking to telephone poles as the police drive by. Children playing in the street during school hours - filthy, as the police drive by. Crackheads stopping traffic to sell their wares as the police drive by. Multitudes of gay men parking on the road of a park to go off into a little bit of woods to fuck....as children play close by - as they drive by.

These are the things that obviously disgust me but it does not begin to touch the iceberg of what the DPD is and how corrupt it is. I could not possibly link to all of the stories of shooting and killing of unarmed people, the buy offs, the cops on duty who hang out at the casino....and still, anyone with half a brain realizes this is only the surface of what is a deep sewer pit.

Todays Detroit's Free Press headlines Detroit Police Called the Worst is an accurate statement. Yesterday in the Free Press it wasn't headline news this was much further down. Go figure. Like everything about DPD, if it's not acknowledged head on...maybe it doesn't exist?

Now please...if the US Justice Department plans to take over a police department in ANY other state would it not make national news immediately?? It's not like this is an everyday occurrence. Also please notice how they immediately turn the story into talking how old the facilities are. Like that has anything to do with the corruption. Give me a fucking break. Shit...send in the Marines. Welcome to the DMZ.

2003-06-11T17:07:00.000-07:00
Font Size

I don't look at my blog alot and I just read a post from The Fire Ant Gazette and now I'm thinking if I had to read that size of font, I probably wouldn't. I like the view otherwise. I like the colors..what can I say. I just looked at the template to see if I could make the font larger...and I think mine is done in Japanese...German...some language that is completely foreign to me. Anybody out there have any idea what I might be looking for in English?

2003-06-11T16:54:00.000-07:00
Bloggers On Blogging

I've read 2 great posts tonight giving advice and opinion for blogging and not only for the beginner. What Jane had to say made me sit up a little straighter and wondering if I hadn't crossed a line about Lithium Jan. I'm still on the fence about it. But go check out her writing. I'm not sure how I first stumbled across her but I stuck her on my favorites list immediately. Go on...check her out.

The second post I came across thanks to Venomous Kate. It's a post by John Hawkins. Eleven Quick Tips for Bloggers. I took some of his advice immediately...obviously I haven't moved to Movable Type, but someday...who knows.

2003-06-10T17:18:00.000-07:00
Suicide in Japan

This news article made me feel sick. So I thought I would share. Make sure you catch this comment:

“One single suicide seems quite awful and wrong,” Saito says. “But a double suicide has, in a sense, affection and peace, solace.”

Oh give me a fucking break.

2003-06-10T17:11:00.000-07:00
Lithium Jan

Nothing from Jan today. I needed to reach her to talk about her Momma...I refuse to fax her. So I called and left a message on the answering machine. I love to feed into her paranoia. She didn't return my call...go figure. The whore.

2003-06-10T17:04:00.000-07:00
Steak and Potatoes

Well I am cooking the 2 damn biggest ribeyes I have ever cooked. I wish I wish I wish I had a way to grill outside. It's not allowed in my apartment complex...besides I don't have a patio. Kinda sucks actually.

Anyway I bought these ribeyes at the local meat market about two weeks ago. I just go to the counter, tell them what I want and they package it up and I pay the huge price and everybody is happy right. Well the meat market was packed this certain Saturday so I couldn't follow the guy down the counter and see what he was grabbing. Anyway I have a damn roast now that I'm panfrying in margarine. Artery clogging, heart stopping and all that stuff - big ass ol' ribeye. Oh well...when I'm laying on the table having an angioplasty I'll feel damn guilty then.

I have steak about twice a month. I never had a steak until I was 19...and fell in love with it. Oh bring it on. My mother is an anorexic so our groceries were pretty slim growing up. What I remember eating the most was macaroni and butter, peanut butter and jelly, pancakes and all of our families favorite: cocoa and toast. My mother would cook once in awhile...but you wouldn't want to eat it. Let me give you some of her favorite dishes:

Poor Man's Stew: fried loose hamburger, sliced potatoes and a stick of margarine that you cooked in a quart of water for a couple of hours with about 2 tsps of salt. No shit...I kid you not. One of her favorite dishes to this day.

Fried Pork and Bean Sandwiches: Yeah...take a can of beans, add some mustard and mayo ( I kid you not) stir it up, butter two slices of bread, pour some beans in the middle and fry it up. Almost made me sick typing this.

Sloppy Joes: fried loose hamburger, tomato soup and a can of vegetable beef alphabet soup. I won't even make a comment.

Mother dislikes onions...so I never even had an onion ring until 19. She salts everything heavily....I will not even buy salt. None in my house....ok, garlic salt. Mother didn't like ketchup either....I didn't know until high school that most people didn't eat hamburgers or hotdogs with grape jelly. Ok...so I had a hotdog last week with grape jelly....I temporarily lost my mind. But it was kinda good.

It's funny but when we are visiting Mom and she wants to feed us...my brother, sister and myself will ask for cocoa and toast. She makes a mean cup of cocoa.

2003-06-10T03:45:00.000-07:00
The Evil Bitch

We have a family member at our facility that is beyond a bitch, beyond fucking weird and obviously hasn't had her lithium level checked for way too long. Jan's Momma has Alzheimers that is progressing rapidly and Jan is unable to deal with this. Momma was in another facility and she snatched Momma out of there when the facility realized Jan was a bona fide nutcase and took action to have her guardianship revoked. At that facility she got Momma out by calling 9-1-1 after discovering a bruise on Momma's knee. Well Momma uses a wheelchair and in her demented state is constantly on the go running down other patients, staff, walls and whatever is in Momma's way. Naturally Momma's knees make first impact. When Momma got to the hospital...yes the ambulance drivers took her to shut Jan up, Jan threw such a fit that Momma be admitted of course the ER MD's did....to shut Jan up. (Of course our tax dollars foot Momma's bill at the hospital and the nursing home). This bought Jan time to find another facility....damn it, that would be ours.

Within 30 minutes of admission we realized we had a BIG FUCKING MISTAKE on our hands. Demented Momma is ok...but Lithium Jan is another story. Well to fast forward this story along...Friday Jan was in the dining room feeding Momma, no problem. Then..I get this urgent call from the social worker that Jan is vomiting all over the dining room and refuses to leave. Uh huh. Sure enough, I go to the dining room and Jan is sitting there feeding Momma and puking on the floor inbetween bites. I ask Jan to step out in the hallway...oh, and bring your bags with you...then I ask her to stay out of the dining room she is exposing Momma and 25 other people to God knows and besides, it's disgusting. She proceeds to tell me she's not contagious but she took her meds on an empty stomach. Damn, she puked her meds up? Great. Shit will hit the fan now.

Well she refuses to leave the facility but wants to go to Momma's room. Fine I tell her, just stay away from everyone or leave. I do have a little ounce of nursing compassion...I offered to drive her home (not puking in my car) or preferably call an ambulance. Well she chooses Momma's room. About 10 minutes later I get a call from the charge nurse..Jan is laying on Momma's bed with a wet towel over her face moaning. Ok...time to go home Jan. So Jan picks up her bags of shit (this is another story ..the bags are full of tape recorders, cameras and journals) goes to the lobby, and sits down and proceeds to puke all over the lobby. I'll assume she did not see the trash can sitting at her right elbow. She then digs her box of Kleenexes out and proceeds to cover the puke neatly with tissues. After she examines her nice arrangement....she leaves.

Ok..this brings me to yesterday. I get a call from the charge nurse that Jan came in, woke Momma up from a sound nap to take videos of her. All the time cursing and yelling "that this fucking place can not stop her from taking pictures or ask her to leave the facility." Nut case. So my boss is back in the building today...I'm gonna let her handle this one. She does proceed in calming Jan down for about 30 minutes. Then Jan decided to take a walk throughout the building. We have an unlocked facility but to go through any door to a stairwell or outside you need to punch a simple code (1-2-3) to open a door without setting off a very loud alarm. The alarm of course brings staff running ...to make sure a demented patient is not heading for a stairwell or outside to get splatted in the street. Jan is walking through the building setting off alarms. Every time she does a staff member would tell her the code. She would not acknowledge us but continued on her mission. After she made her trip though the building she decides to leave and as she is exiting the door to the parking lot - yes, setting off the alarm - she yells back in the facility "Is the code 1-2-3?" and slams the door.

So my boss...being the evil woman she is, decides to fax Jan (Jan's preferred method of communication regarding her mother) that the door alarm is "1-2-3" in large letters and said the next time she came to the facility she would be inserviced on what these numbers look like and how to punch them on the pad. Jan didn't fax back...go figure. Stupid bitch.

2003-06-10T02:35:00.000-07:00
Bush on WMD

Bush answered reporters yesterday about the ongoing accusation of doctoring evidence for an excuse to attack Iraq. This is one of his comments:

Bush was asked whether American credibility was on the line in the hunt for illicit weapons. In answering, he pointed to the outcome of the war, not the weapons search.
“The credibility of this country is based upon our strong desire to make the world more peaceful, and the world is now more peaceful after our decision,” he said.

Now I like Bush. I supported the war but I even have to question this statement. Does he read the same headlines I do? If this is more peaceful we must of had absolute bliss before the war. Damn, I missed it again.

2003-06-09T17:10:00.000-07:00
Kidnapping

News of kidnapped children always hits close to home with me. When I was 5 a man picked me up off a slide in a park and began running out of the park with me. I was in an isolated area and it was just beginning to get dark. I was supposed to be with my mother watching my Dad play softball but she let me down to play behind the bleachers with some other children. Well just through the hedges was the playground..and I loved slides. I remember he grabbed me off the slide when I was half way down. He actually was just leaving the park through the hedges on the opposite side when thankfully my mother came looking for me...and happened to look in the right direction. She immediate began screaming that somebody was taking her child. He dropped me and ran like hell. I don't remember much of the man except he was in gray work clothes. Older than my father, who couldn't of been more than 25 at the time. What I do remember is my Mother...screaming. The fear on her face when she grabbed me up. That is when I started to cry. I remember the police coming to the house that night after my mother put me to bed, and the young policeman coming into my room to just say "hi". Then I remember the next several years of never being out of my mothers site....sheesh. Drove me nuts back then....but thank God for my mother.

2003-06-09T02:53:00.000-07:00
I Hate Mondays

I've always hated Mondays, I always will. I hate people who say "it's just another day". No...Mondays aren't just another day. Ask anyone who has ever bought a car made on Monday. Ask anyone who drives in Detroit traffic daily if Monday is just another day. Ask anyone who works in a 24/7 business if Monday is just another day. Fuck no. Monday is hell day.

2003-06-09T02:47:00.000-07:00
Tracking My Panties

Now I think this is just taking things a little too far. Big Brother can not find Bin Laden, can not find Saddam Hussein, can not even find an abducted girl from San Jose...she showed up on her own. But Big Brother wants to track underwear. C'mon get a fucking grip on reality. Some people just have way too much free time.

2003-06-09T02:35:00.000-07:00
Muslin Prom

Excuse me...you left out the best parts: sex, drugs and rock and roll. Is it really truly a prom without this?

2003-06-08T16:53:00.000-07:00
SARS

You have to wonder about this Canadian health official:

The health ministry in Ontario said a 66-year-old woman and a 63-year-old man died on Saturday.

The ministry said in a statement there were 68 probable cases of SARS in the Toronto area, down from 70 cases reported on Friday.

Umm....two died, I guess that's one way to get those numbers down.

2003-06-08T12:01:00.000-07:00
Nude Exhibit

I'm impressed with this. I would of loved to be there...not only to take part, but it definitely would of been a once in a life time experience.

He called the Barcelona installation a great visual success. "I created a river of bodies like I've never made before. It was an amazing pink and tan carpet."

Well if he had me there....there would definitely be a snow white ass in the river of pink and tan.

2003-06-08T11:45:00.000-07:00
My Personality Disorder

My Personality...scarey huh?

borderline

Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

Go ahead..take the test.

2003-06-08T11:43:00.000-07:00
Blogspot Farts

I was happily blogging away this morning when Blogspot had and continues to have an obvious brain fart of nuclear proportion.

This is the message I see when I even try to bring up the sign on screen:

Microsoft OLE DB Provider for ODBC Drivers error '80004005'

[Microsoft][ODBC SQL Server Driver][TCP/IP Sockets]SQL Server does not exist or access denied.

//global.asa, line 15

Lovely huh? What the fuck does that mean? Me or them? I'm going to assume them because it usually is. I would love to get off of Blogspot if I had any inkling of what I was doing and how to go about it.

I purchased my own domain (not even sure if that is the right word) name awhile ago...in anticipation of doing a web page "someday". I have no fucking clue how to go about using it. Oh well. I'm still living so I guess I can still learn.

I wrote this earlier ...and I'll post it here while blogspot decides it going to continue to work. I lost my earlier post I see into cyberspace somewhere.

2003-06-08T04:40:00.000-07:00
Washington Post U.S. to name interim Iraqi council

What a difference a certain punctuation makes for my brain in the morning. This is what I seen on MSNBC's home page. My first thought "What the fuck does the Washington Post have to do with this? Ummm...it's supposed to be Washington Post: U.S. to name Iraqi council...sheesh. Where's my coffee?

2003-06-08T04:30:00.000-07:00
Humid, Humid, Humid

Damn there is 90% humidity this morning...hazy. I hate it when I wake up damp from weather. If I at least have a morning cool breeze I'd feel like I was in Iowa.

2003-06-07T16:34:00.000-07:00
Jennifer Granholm

Watch this woman....she's definitely a Hillary wannabe. Today she wrapped up her week long extravaganza across Michigan to promote tourism. Gotta wonder what that cost us.

About 60 elementary students from Herlong Catholic School in Detroit all donned sunglasses as they greeted Granholm at the museum. Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick's office provided the shades after Granholm handed out sunglasses last weekend and told people at the Detroit Regional Chamber conference that Michigan cities need to be "cooler."

Umm...no Kwame...that would be "cleaner".

2003-06-07T12:31:00.000-07:00
Virus

Well my anti-virus program just found a virus and deleted it...before I even seen what it was. I have downloaded nothing so I can not imagine how I got the sucker. Oh well, glad it's gone. I guess I'll run the whole program today. I just did last Sunday. I hate being ignorant about this stuff. I guess I'll get over it.

2003-06-07T03:32:00.000-07:00
Webby Awards

The Webby Awards
winners have been announced. Obviously I didn't win. Maybe next year.

2003-06-07T03:26:00.000-07:00
The Earth Liberation Front aka ELF

If these dickheads want to do something constructive in Michigan why don't they burn down the multitude of gutted out empty houses that litter Detroit?

"The group -- the Earth Liberation Front -- has claimed credit for the fires and for five other incidents dating to December 1999 when a genetic engineering research project was destroyed at Michigan State University. Other incidents targeted a McDonald's restaurant, sport-utility vehicles on the lot of a Ford dealership, an oil company and a lumber company."

The article states that the "group is motivated by their own consciences rather than any leadership."

If ELF wants to be so God damn conscientious about the environment why don't they get off their lazy asses and walk some of Detroit's wonderful expressways and pick up some of that shit I've seen laying there in the same place for over two years. Take their moronic minds to Detroit and tear down even one of the hundreds of burned out crack houses that is not only a health and safety hazard but I'm sure can be compared to any suburb of Iraq about now. ELF is just one more group that has a mindless blowhard for a leader and all these destructive radical groups need to get together and form an alliance...oh, and definitely call it ELF for Every Lazy Fucker.

2003-06-07T02:54:00.000-07:00
Weblog Central

I found Weblog Central this morning while cruising around. Evidently MSNBC even has there own blog...go figure. I haven't followed any of their links to othe blogs yet, but they do have some interesting news and comments on the blogging world.

2003-06-06T18:14:00.000-07:00
Lie Detector

Oh yeah, I want one of these. Ok, so I'll wait for the improved version. I'm sure one day we will have one just like a pulse oximeter. For those of you that don't know it's a little sleeve that fits on your finger that will reads out your pulse rate and oxygen level. I'd love to have one to use on my 16 year old, I can picture me chasing him through the house "Give me your finger baby...c'mere."

Also just think of all the crap you could filter out on that first date. Mind boggling. I'd like to have one that would deliver electric shocks when a person lied. I can see myself using one and it going something like this:

"So are you married or involved?"

"No, not at all." BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Oh yeah, I want one.

2003-06-06T02:17:00.000-07:00
Friday Five

1. How many times have you truly been in love?

Damn that's a hard question. If one is truly in love...will it fade? I think I am one of those people that I despise - that confuse lust with love. I have had three relationships where at one point I was convinced I was "truly in love". I'll leave it at that.

2. What was/is so great about the person you love(d) the most?

The first was my ex-husband and in looking back there was actually nothing I liked about him and we had nothing in common - it was just my first relationship. Definitely the first intense sexual relationship I was in. If I hadn't gotten pregnant, we never would of married.

3. What qualities should a significant other have?

The ability to laugh at stupid shit. Intelligence. Honesty. The ability to be in a house without having to have the TV on. Knowledge of sexual positions beyond missionary style. Ability to practice monogamy instead of just preach it. Being decisive, dominant and confident would also be a big plus.

4. Have you ever broken someone's heart?

My ex-husbands. So he said...but personally I think he was just upset because he lost the person who had been supporting his ass in many ways for 20 years.

5. If there was one thing you could teach people about love, what would it be?

"Love" will never last if you are not equal or compatible in many things. Intelligence. Financially. Level of motivation. Morals. Ethics. Love is friendship, honor and respect above all else. Placing that person above you at all times and in all things and that person doing the same for you. If that's not there you might as well move along. It took me years to figure out that hanging on to a shitty relationship was definitely worse than being on your own. There is self respect and peace in not settling for less.

2003-06-06T01:41:00.000-07:00
What did I say about sleeping 8 hours? Well I woke up at 4am...guess I'll go to work early. What the hell do birds have to chirp about at 4am?

2003-06-05T17:41:00.000-07:00
Penises

I must say I enjoyed this. As long as I've been in the medical field I did not know about a surgery to enlarge a penis. The dear Dr. Cooper here says it's all about confidence...and he's right. Although he does make a comment that some women like small penises...let me tell you, I've worked with 100's of women over the years and yes, we talk about sex. Never...I mean never have I heard a woman say she prefers a small penis. I have to wonder if he married the one that said that.

2003-06-05T16:38:00.000-07:00
Back Online

I let a friend use my computer twice this week after I left for work. Big mistake. The first day he screwed up my printer. He didn't say anthing about printing off things...ok, I fixed the printer. Not a big problem but I ended up deleting over 30 print jobs he had lined up. Go figure. So last night I didn't get home from work til after 8pm and wanted to check my email before jumping in the shower. Guess what "TCP/IP" connection failed. Oh boy. I was too tired to try and figure it out...so I did the jumping in the shower and just decided to read a book. Nice quiet evening...I loved it.

So later I ask the guy...umm, what did you do to my computer. He tells me the "the printer jammed up but I fixed it." Huh huh. So why is there no internent connection? "Uh...I don't know." So this morning...I decided to tackle the problem....the cable is unhooked from the back of the hard drive. So later I ask...umm, why were you jacking with my cables and shit? "Umm....I didn't know I did." Ok....fuck this guy. No more. I usually try to help people out when I can...but forget it.

2003-06-04T03:58:00.000-07:00
Sleep

Isn't amazing how eight hours of uninterrupted dreamless sleep can make the world a better place? No 3am phone calls from work. No searching through strange houses for God knows what in my dreams. Just sleep at it's finest. I always wished I was one of those people who only need 3-4 hours. I'm one of those that usually get 6...but need 8. I rarely have insomnia unless I'm sick...or something is troubling me big time. When I had Mono a few years ago...I was one of the very few people who it was reversed on...instead of sleeping I couldn't. Nothing like being on bedrest and only able to sleep 2 hours a night. Talk about hell.

I know alot of people who take prescription sleeping pills or melatonin to sleep. I only believe in drugs to treat a specific illness for a period of time. Nothing more. I'm always doing battle with the physician in my facility to get people off meds. I will hound him to death if he orders a sleeper for more than 7 days. Medicine is not necessarily our friends. I'm a firm believer that medicine can kill, does kill and lead to even more serious problems.

2003-06-03T18:04:00.000-07:00
Empathy

Unfortunately I woke up too early this morning...4:30am. Damn. So I made some coffee, read the news and some blogs online. Now it's 8:45 and damn if I don't want to go to bed. If I do...I'll repeat the whole cycle again tomorrow, then again maybe not.

I'm still feeling kind of down...I want to blame the book I'm reading but I think it's just life being the same 'ol thing. I would like to say I had something on the upcoming summer agenda to look forward too...but I don't have a damn thing. Well...work. Same 'ol.

This is really stupid shit...and I'm pissed off at myself, but I got somewhat disturbed by what someone blogged. Not the content of what was being said, but the pain "I thought" this person must be feeling. He was very open about a painful time in his life and I think times like those haunt you forever. The feelings lay dormant for awhile, then begin surfacing from the deep recesses of your mind before you even realize what is going on. All of a sudden you are thrust back in the pain and madness as if it was day one. Blindsided with a suckers punch. This is where the darkness can swallow you whole if you let it.

I empathized with this complete stranger. I felt his pain...then my own memories resurfaced like post traumatic stress. Stupid shit. I think I need to quit reading blogs for a bit.

2003-06-03T15:46:00.000-07:00
Thief Swallows Ring

This guy is good, something tells me he's done this before. Personally $3000 ring or not...I think I would have to sell it after this.

2003-06-03T03:24:00.000-07:00
Temper Tantrum

I had a temper tantrum at work yesterday....actually I'm still somewhat pissed off by the whole thing. One of my managers who is in charge of a 44 bed unit is on a three week vacation. (God help us all.) When someone is gone..myself and the other managers pitch in and try to keep things running smoothly. I didn't make it to that unit until about 11:30a yesterday, and to be brief...I found not one staff member on that unit. Patient care obviously had been shoddy that morning - which was obvious on initial observation. After looking and speaking to a few patients and looking under the sheets of a couple of bed patients it was more than obvious.

I paged over the intercom system for the unit to return to the floor immediately. None of my staff on any unit likes to hear this page from me...it usually means shit has hit the fan. It did. I'm usually a woman of few words...I told them this was sickening, if I ever find it again...they won't work here, and they had but a few minutes to make it right. I told them I'd be back in 30 minutes and I want to know what happened. I already knew what happened and I didn't ask them later.

Many nurses at this point would criticize the hell out of me for not staying and helping...let em. I have one of the highest staffed facilities in my state...more than enough people to get the job done, done right and quickly. I'm the first one to help in a pinch...but I won't do their work when laziness was the cause. Yeah, that's right, lazyass adults, paid to do a job and spending more time trying not to do it.

So I spent the next 2 hours chewing ass and giving final warnings. I'm so damn sick and tired of this Motor City lazy ass mentality that "I'll do what I want and if I don't want..fuck you, take it up with the union bullshit." Well I got the union steward there first...told them nicely to fuck off, if you don't do your job, you are out of here. We are not making cars here people....this is human lifes. If you don't want to be responsible and work...get out. That is my exact speech.

Anyway..the rest of my day was quiet, my staff stayed out of my way. We all like to have some fun on the job, fart around, whatever...and there is time for that AFTER the work is done. Things are getting better I guess, two years ago I would of been slapped with several union grievances about harassment or racial discrimination within 2 hours. I guess somewhere along the line they got tired of losing...I guess it's hard to prove harassment when negligence is obvious. Either that or they finally realized all the physical threats, union grievances and civil rights lawsuits didn't scare me or make me go away....or change my stance. Nothing makes me more determined than being threatened.

2003-06-02T17:42:00.000-07:00
Max Tucker

I followed a link at GutRumbles where I read the most nauseating story of a male so hung up on himself it's disgusting. This guy is a true pig. I think they sounded like a good match myself.....he should reconsider or he's going to be a damn lonely man. Is it any wonder how experienced he seems being able to spot whores?

I only ran across one man like him in my dating experiences, this was about two years ago. On the initial contact when we met he didn't give off the Holier than Thou impression...so when asked me out to dinner I accepted he was handsome, SINGLE, seemed intelligent. This guy was a music teacher at a high school, played guitar (should of been a clue) and involved in Detroits music scene. We weren't 15 minutes in the restaurant when he started telling me how wonderful he was. How much money he made, how nice is home is...and last but not least what a great lover he was. GAG ME. I smiled politely...choked down dinner continuing to hear how great he was then promptly made an excuse to get the hell home. He continued to call me for about a month afterwards and I was honest from the first time he called: There is no chemistry...have a good life. I finally just quit answering his calls....I guess he got the message.

2003-06-01T15:15:00.000-07:00
Restless and Bored

That pretty much says it all. Doing laundry, cleaning here and there, puttering online. I'm not happy doing this today, yet there is nothing I want to do. Work has called several times with stupid shit. Then they've called twice, let it ring two times and hang up. Dipshits. These are adults making $20+/hour and they have trouble making a damn phone call. Need I say more?

It's 6pm, I guess to late to take a nap. I was going to make rigatoni with Italian Sausage and meatballs, but I'm really not in the mood. I started reading a book yesterday, Lovely Bones it's morbid, maybe thats got me feeling down..or weird. Different anyway.

2003-06-01T07:17:00.000-07:00
Slim Shady

Like this white boy needs to make anymore money. Well after that 8 Mile movie, maybe he does. Seems to me that the "crisp all-American color scheme" would make you a bigger target walking down 8 Mile.

2003-06-01T07:03:00.000-07:00
Obesity Epidemic

Dr. Mikael Fogelholm says the future doesn't look too promising. I think more people like my food pyramid then his. These cinnamon and sugar scones I'm munching on sure are good. Little crumbs in the keyboard won't hurt anything.

2003-06-01T06:10:00.000-07:00
SARS

I'm thankful to Tim Bishop for his site on SARS. SARS Watch Org has become a daily stop for me for too long. I'm actually amazed at the news media and other healthcare workers who are discounting SARS. This is some serious shit people. Spend a little time comparing this with the Spanish Flu of 1918, the epidemiology is very similar. Scientists are predicting a full blown epidemic this fall. SARS mortality rate is much higher than the Spanish Flu...which experts say killed almost 60 million people worldwide. Staggering numbers.

It's nice to live with our head in our butts and ignore what is going on but denial only works for so long. Trust me, I pray I'm scared shitless for no reason and this will just go away. We all would like to think the USA is more advanced at treating this than China but guess what, we are not. Nothing kills viruses. We are a society of running to the Doc for a remedy for the common cold and I've seen people actually get pissed off because he won't prescribe an antibiotic. Take a clue...it doesn't work.

I'm sure we are several years ahead of China with being prepared for palliative treatment of SARS - which will be treating the symptoms only (IV fluids, oxygen, and even antibiotics for secondary infections) but Docs now adays really can't walk on water. Treating SARS and any virus is a crapshoot.

Over the past 2 months or so the US Government did a mass mailing to RN's and Physicians with nice little glossy photos and brochures on how to diagnose Smallpox and immediate actions to take. Which folks in my twenty some years of being a nurse, mass mailing of this nature has never occurred. I think the CDC better get something out about SARS...except I think they are not real sure what to put in there. Like I said...scarey shit.

2003-05-31T08:35:00.000-07:00
Blogrolling

I added a small sampling of my favorites through this Blogrolling thingie. Some how I think I might of even screwed that up.

I suppose I should get dressed and eat some breakfast before it's lunch time. I need to go get groceries.. I guess. I'm down to crap (Healthy Choice meal, apples, yogurt). I need some of my food pyramid items: Chocolate, popcorn, cookies, peanut butter, chips and Columbian Coffee. Also I'm having a craving for Alize...probably because I followed an Alize delivery truck down the expressway Wednesday. Ok..I'm easily swayed.

I haven't had any Alize for about 3 years. One eventful evening with my friend we decided a little Alize mixed with peach wine tasted real fine. Hot night, real thirsty....equaled real sick. You would of thought I was 18 again.

2003-05-31T07:54:00.000-07:00
Playing with the Template

I got out of going to the healing mass. Thank God. I hope that doesn't come back to haunt me. So I'm playing a little with my template. If I disappear forever into cyberland...I guess you'll never know why.

2003-05-31T04:35:00.000-07:00
Driving and Cell Phones

I was almost killed yesterday by a woman in a Cadillac. This is for you honey....take a clue.

2003-05-31T04:25:00.000-07:00
Sucking Up

"Gov. Jennifer Granholm gives a high five to Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick during the Detroit Regional Chamber's leadership conference on Mackinac Island on Friday. Kilpatrick spent time schmoozing with business leaders and politicians."

Of course he did. He knows where his future is and it's definitely not the poor of Detroit. How soon can you forget who got you there?

2003-05-31T04:20:00.000-07:00
Nathaniel Abraham

Nathaniel was 11 years old when he shot and killed Ronnie Green Jr outside a party store in Pontiac, MI. He's currently 17 years old and will be released at age 21. He has a 4th grade reading level. Smack me if I'm wrong but shouldn't somebody take an interest in him before he's back out on the street again?

Obviously this child - yes child - did not have the luxury of someone caring about him in his life. Whoever in the hell was responsible for an 11 year old who would allow him to even be outside a party store, let alone with a gun should be in jail. Now if no one steps in and opens the door to show this child there is another way of life out there what's the chances he will go back out and procreate other gunslinging children? Someone needs to stop the cycle. Go Mayor Willie Payne, you would have my vote.

2003-05-30T18:52:00.000-07:00
Friday Night

It's raining out..again. I feel lousy, not sure what it is. I feel too miserable to sit here and type. Ciao.

2003-05-29T17:07:00.000-07:00
Divorce Dot Com

I about died when I read this site, this morning. Where were these people when I wanted a divorce? My divorce was a fiasco from day one. I filed for a divorce in August of 1997, paid $700 cash down. I didn't hound the woman but I called her or tried to call her at least every two weeks. My then husband was not served papers until the end of October. For one...she forgot to file them until the end of September, two...the Sheriff's Department said they could not locate him. Hello? He was at the Sheriff's department for two scheduled employment interviews with the Sheriff in October of '97. No shit.

Then in November my lawyer goes on a hiatus with breast cancer, not a problem if she would of let me know or turned my case over to an associate. But no....that would of been too easy..of course I did not find this out til January '98 when she finally returns my call and schedules an appointment. When I get to the appointment..it's a complete initial intake again. I later find out she charged me $95 for the phone call and $250 for the repeat "initial" conference. Also, I would like to add I had to AGAIN bring her tax forms, check stubs etc. etc. because she misplaced the first.

My husband and I had already agreed that I will get the household items and he would get the 2 Ford pick-ups, the 1960 something Lincoln, the tractors, camper, backhoe, tools etc. So the husband while I was at work, would come into the house, lift some of the antiques, household items etc. So much for the agreement. My lawyer - the whore- was supposed to file some sort of restraining order to stop him at this point from taking things off the property. She "forgot". Then things got nasty...for everyone. Then amidst all of this BS my husband insists on trying marriage counseling. In Iowa at least at that time, it was mandatory to attend counseling if one party wants it. (Ummm....twenty years too late big boy.)

Then in March...his lawyer is diagnosed with colon cancer. Here we go again. Anyway...to make a long disgusting story shorter....it was October of '99 before the divorce was final. I won't go into how I got screwed...but I did, big time, and I have myself to blame. After two years I would of given an arm or leg to be out of that marriage.

I did get one final say with my lawyer before I left Iowa. I went to see her and told her she did a shitty job, and she should be ashamed. I was sorry she had cancer but it was no excuse for failing to do her job. I told her at the January '98 meeting, that I would not pay her anything else until I seen some results. I never did, and I never paid her another penny. I won't. She still sends me bills monthly. I assume that's what it is. I don't open it.

I'll never get married again. But if I would develop Alzheimers or become temporarily insane and get married again. I'm gonna remember divorce dot com.

2003-05-29T16:40:00.000-07:00
Thank God it's the day before Friday

Today was long. I got the work piled on me for the next 3-4 weeks or so. We decided yesterday to "redesign" our Quality Assurance program. Now I have about 12 audits to complete before June 18th. Oh boy. It doesn't stop there, after the audits there is the analysis and gathering a team to develop and inititiate an action plan. I figure this will take me at least 40 hours - pushing it. THEN my boss who "forgot" to tell me that all my evaluations are due on all of my non-union employees by June 12 instead of July 1. That's approximately 40 people. ALSO June 5-12 is CENA week, which of course I am in charge of the "festivities" and gifts. All of these added duties are on top of my normal 50 hour work week. Oh yeah...I'm whining.

Then I did a stupid thing..the Activities department needed a nurse to go on an outing Saturday. Ever try to find an extra nurse on a Saturday? Impossible. So I volunteered to assist on an outing to a Catholic healing mass. Only thing I'll be praying for is a chance to take my two weeks vacation before August 1 hits and I lose it.

Whining session is officially closed.